When I think about all the things that have held me back in life, whether it be my career, friendships, relationships, sports, or anything else…. it always comes back to the exact same thing…fear.
Fear is the underlining reason I have allowed myself to believe I can’t.
I can’t speak up. I can’t wear that. I can’t do that. I can’t learn that. I simply can’t. I see myself as a fairly confident human being and willing to take things on that are within the realm of “I can”, but when it comes to extending outside my comfort zone I just won’t touch it. Why? I’ve never stopped to think about it much, it’s just the way I am. However, if I stop and think about it… I know deep down that I can’t be the only one who has a few lies they believe about themselves. Surely, there has to be someone else out there that has a fear (..or two) that shapes the things they will, or will not do. Right?
That thought compelled me to write a blog about the lies people believe because I was curious to see just how many of us struggle and get entangled by the same lies caused by fear. I went to about 20 different people, from different places, on different paths of life and I asked them ALL the same question “What are 6 lies you’ve believed about yourself?” Now I am going to ask you to answer the same question. If you’re anything like me, the results may surprise you. “What are 6 lies you’ve believed or still believe about yourself?” Take the time to think and reflect on what holds you back from really being yourself and truly living life to the fullest. Write them down.
So, there are about 7 billion people in the world, 196 countries, and roughly 6,500 different languages (give or take a few). With the world being so big and diverse you would think that when it came to fears we would all have separate, individual, unique ones that consume our minds and hold us back. These are things we have believed about ourselves that have become “truths” – but they are actually lies.
Before going into this… I had a feeling that most people would be hesitant on this topic thinking their lies would be dumb and exclusive – thinking they were alone in the struggle and thought of these lies. BUT once I had gathered all the lies and fears people had spoken, it wasn’t too hard to see that most people believed the same lies about themselves as everyone else did- or at least to a certain extent.
I wrote down everyone’s 6 lies and gathered the top 6 common lies…
- I am not “good” enough
- I am not worthy of being loved
- My past defines me and my future
- Fear of rejection- If people knew the real me they wouldn’t like me
- I have no purpose/value
- I am not beautiful
Though, the thought of these lies are sad and untrue, it weirdly brought comfort to my mind. It reminded me I am not alone. I am not the only one who has fear, which can lead to having unbelief within myself, causing me to not live my life to the fullest. I’m learning whether people speak it out or not, we all struggle with lies and fear, it’s inevitable- we are human. We fear so much in life as we grow into who we really are and try to figure out where we belong in this giant world. We fear as we take chances in speaking our feelings out or going after things we love and believe in. We have fear of not measuring up which only holds us back. Each of us holds an incredible amount of value. We fear so much that it truly robs us of a full abundant life.
We should stop believing the lies and start to believe the good truths about ourselves. I would hate to see people miss out on the fullness of life because of these lies that so commonly entangle and fill all of our minds. I don’t know if some of you are like me and hold back verbalizing the thoughts of fear and unbelief within yourself because you are fearful of it making you look weak or sound dumb. Maybe you’re worried that if someone sees your unpolished self.. .it may change their perspective of you in a negative way?
As I was in conversation with someone- hearing their lies, I decided to share that I too, had once struggled with the same thought. They couldn’t believe that as different as we were, we could both relate to the same struggle. When I heard that it really hit me. People like realness. People appreciate when you are vulnerable, raw and honest. People loved that I took the time to hear their heart and could relate to it. We all get our feelings hurt and get disappointed. We all have fears and unbelief within ourselves. What would it look like if we stopped pretending that we don’t?
Simply talking to 20 people gave me a realization that we all struggle with similar things. I hope it encourages you to be real in those lies, fears and unbelief. Don’t keep them hidden within those dark parts of your mind. Speak them out. Bring them to the light and experience freedom. Fight the lies with truths and conquer them. This life is way too short for anyone of us to be living in fear and to be believing things about ourselves that just aren’t true. Let’s band together in relating to people, making people feel loved and valued – letting them know they belong. Isn’t that truly what we all long for?
Take the time to think and reflect on what holds you back from really being yourself and truly living life to the fullest. Which six lies will you stop believing? Write them down.
Paige Vivian, from Grand Rapids, MI, completed her Discipleship Training School with us in 2013. After 3 years traveling abroad she joined us again aboard our Medical Ship in Papua New Guinea serving as a Dental Nurse, and Clinic Leader. Paige is a natural writer, with an eye for beauty in the everyday moments of life. She loves real and raw moments of people discovering themselves, and can strike up a conversation with just about anyone.