I’m always hungry; I eat and eat then eat some more. I am constantly finding myself opening the fridge and wishing I had more food. Even when I get stuffed full, 30 minutes later you will find me once again looking for food. Most recently my diet has mainly consisted of junk food like sugars, cakes, cookies, ice cream and frozen pizzas. In a season of transition it’s easy to just eat all the delicious foods that sound so satisfying. However, I wasn’t created to eat so much processed food in the first place so I’m about to try something new. Maybe if I started eating healthy that would satisfy my hunger.
Over the years my spiritual journey has looked very similar to my recent eating habits. I have been known for my hunger for God since first finding Him in 2010. I am an “all in” type of guy. Once I realized there was more to God than just a guy sitting in the sky staring at me all the time, I jumped head first into the deep end.
I read every book I could get my hands on, I read Bible story after Bible story, I went to several conferences and almost all of my free time was spent in front of the computer where I was watching some sort of sermon or teaching. For five years I never slowed down, until recently.
I have tried just about everything within Christian culture. I have heard a wide variety of different teachings and philosophy, and yet every night when I go to bed I feel a deep hunger for more. Similar to how my unhealthy eating habits tend to leave me hungry for something more nutritious.
For the longest time I didn’t know what I was hungry for, I thought I was properly feeding myself. After all people always told me that I needed to feed myself with “Christian” things in order to be a Christian man. I thought that I had it all figured out, yet my heart was lacking something.
It’s not that I didn’t grow through this season of doing all the “right” things, because I still managed to find change and do incredible things. It is simply that I was always missing something. I still couldn’t reach the place that I wanted to be. Then about 3 months ago it all changed, God spoke.
He said “Be with me, stop trying to learn more, and do more, just learn to be with me and get to know me, because I want to know you.”
Hearing the voice of God is such a powerful thing, especially when the one who created all that we see is inviting you to hang out with Him.
I never want to strive for anything other than knowing Him. The beauty is there are always greater depths to go, a deeper well to dig, for living water to spring up from these grounds. Therefore I will dig down deep.
This concept has changed my life forever. I’m just beginning this journey of realizing what it means to know God by being with Him and not focusing on all the extra things and small details. There is nothing wrong with having those extra things in your life, but what I’ve learned is that if I’m not focusing on Jesus, then my heart isn’t receiving what it seeks.
Those things are great but they aren’t Jesus, and Jesus is the one my heart is seeking for.
Austin Blanchard joined us in 2013 as part of the Pacific DTS. His passion and love for God and others is displayed in all he does. Serving with our Communications team, he’s the guy behind a lot of what you see from us online.